quotes by Bill Cosby

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone."
— Bill Cosby

"A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
— Bill Cosby

"Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet."
— Bill Cosby

"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it."
— Bill Cosby

"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice."
— Bill Cosby

"Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge."
— Bill Cosby

"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."
— Bill Cosby

"Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. "
— Bill Cosby

"I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread."
— Bill Cosby

"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."
— Bill Cosby

"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."
— Bill Cosby

"And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl."
— Bill Cosby

"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit."
— Bill Cosby (Fatherhood)

"The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic."
— Bill Cosby

"The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now."
— Bill Cosby

"I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time."
— Bill Cosby

"A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child."
— Bill Cosby

"The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague."
— Bill Cosby

"And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head..."
— Bill Cosby

"A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise."
— Bill Cosby