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Lia Habel quotes (showing 1-30 of 141)

“Real ladies can give orders, Real gentlemen can take them, and Real zombies don’t eat brains.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“The fact that she made this beeline for me both warmed my soul and made me want to turn around, walk out the door, and find a cliff to fling myself off of.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“No, not really. But …” Okay, I couldn’t help but gloat a little. “She likes me.”
Samedi didn’t even look at me. “Well of course, you’ve had that bloody uniform on all day. I was half ready to tell you how much I liked you.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“Love's like a cigarette..
You know you had my heart aglow, Between you fingertips.
And, just like a cigarette, I never knew the thrill of life
Until you touched my lips.
Then just like a cigarette, Love seemed to fade away and Leave behind ashes of regret..
And, with a flick of your fingertips, It was easy for you to forget...”
Lia Habel
“All of our lives suck right now, okay? You might think yours is an extra special sparkly rainbow unicorn fart type of suck, but it’s not. Just get on with it!”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
tags: humor
“I ran this through my "girl talk" translator and said, "I could eat him, if either of you'd like. Seems like it might be the easiest thing to do."
-Bram to Nora & Pamela”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“See, they say it’s ‘survival of the fittest’, but you and I really know that it’s ‘survival of the most heavily armed”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“I walked to the table and picked it up, doing as he asked. And then it struck me that I was setting a so-called zombie’s alarm clock for him, and I swear I heard something snap in my ears. I started laughing uproariously.
I heard the monster’s bemused voice outside, asking me if I was alright, but that just made it funnier.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“Returning my voice to a conversational level, I called back, “Nora, I’m not
attempting to embarrass you or single you out. I know you’re capable. But stay behind Chas, okay? You die, you d i e permanently, and for various reasons that we’ve already gotten angsty about together, I don’t want that to happen.”
“Okay, okay,” she sighed.
“Angsty?” Chas asked. “Ooh! Later, details!”
“Yes, later.” With that, I waved the team forward.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“She tried to compose herself then, with several deep breaths. I gave her as long as she needed, all the while mentally designing my tombstone. R.I.P, Captain Abraham R. Griswold. He was completely useless and made girls cry.
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“She nodded and reached out to take my hand again. I turned to look at her fully, I didnt want to say it, but I felt I should. I'd never had a chance to say it to my sisters, to my mother and I'd always regretted it. "Just in case", I said, leaning down. For once the Laz remained respectful. It didn't want her. I wanted her. Knitting my fingers into her curls, I kissed her forehead. I limited myself to one word this time. "Goodbye.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“I really sucked at this whole "I am very attracted to you and would like to demonstrate this to you via attention and creative uses of my disposable income" thing.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“I wondered if there was a crazy person's license you had to apply for, some seminar you had to attend, or if you could just walk out of the house one day and get started.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“I broke away from Samedi and sprinted down the gangplank, screaming out Bram's name. His head turned, and he started limping toward me.
"Nora!" I heard someone yell.
Bram met me halfway. He scooped me up with one arm and pulled my head toward his. I didn't fight it in the least. He kissed me harshly, and I returned it, leaping up on my toes, seeking out his chapped, broken lips with my own, inexpertly, needfully. And then he just held me as I cried, soaking his dirty T-shirt with my tears, his cheek on my head.
"I thought you were gone," I managed to get out. "I thought you were really gone..."
"I thought I was, too," he said, laughing weakly. "But I'd never leave you if I had the choice. I was going to get back to you, or grind to dust trying.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“On the last page he'd written simply, She's so beautiful.
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“If anyone should talk to her," Renfield piped up, "it should be me. We're the most compatible, culturewise. I'm sure that on top of feeling as if she's been thrust into one of the many levels of Hades, with all of its attendant demons, she feels like a lady wandering, lost, amongst the mannerless cads of the slums."
We were all silent for a moment before Tom asked, "You do realize that we're sitting right here, right?"
"Oh, I am horribly aware of this fact."
"Just checking.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“Seriously,let me talk to her when she wakes up. Girl-to-girl."
"No offense, Chas, but you'd scare the crap out of her."
"Want to say that to my face, Coalhouse?"
"What's left of it.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“You killed me! That's not something you can ever apologize for!"
"Well,then,I'm not sorry."
"You son of a-"
"Hey, you leave her out of this.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
Miss Dearly: I'll be outside, if you don't want to open the door. But when you're ready, I'd like to play a game with you. Ask me any question you like, and I'll answer truthfully. If the answer makes you feel a little safer, reward me by undoing one of the locks. I play to get my room back, you play for the confidence to be able to leave it.
Oh, by the way: Could you wind my alarm clock?
-Captain Abraham Griswold

Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“I killed one! I stabbed it in the head with a parasol."
Even Nora couldn't find words for this revelation. Renfield was the first to comment. "I can't tell if that's the most inspiring thing I've ever heard of the most horrifying.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“Now. Bram, you are a good friend and an uptanding young man, but I'm afraid that tradition dictates I now attempt to scare you within an inch of your unlife."
"Understood," Bram said, taking his arm back as I got myself under control.
My father is a gentle-looking man. Thus, why I started laughing again as he attempted to look stern. "What are your intentions concerning my daughter?"
Bram cast a look my way, laughing himself, before clearing his throat and doing his best to look scared. "Why, to care for and protect her until I rot away, sir.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“All the while I rattled off a long list of curses in the soundproofed room of my mind.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“And Bram?"
Panic punched me in the chest. So far today she'd been willing to touch me, laugh with me, confide in me, and now she was wondering if Chas shouldn't go out with me? Had I misread something somewhere?
Chas shook her head and grinned. "Nah. Bram's too busy waiting."
"Waiting?" Nora didn't take her eyes from me. Maybe she wanted me to answer.
"For the right girl," I said curtly.
"And he has very specific physical preferences," Chas said. I grabbed her wrist and squeezed. She'd better not.
She did. "For some reason, he is terribly attracted to black hair. Tom's a leg man, himself...attached, unattached, doesn't really mtter. But Bram likes the hair."
With all the various methods of Chastity Disposal flying through my imagination-should I just shoot her, or should I open her skull and puree her brains with a motorized mixer, or perhaps set her on fire?-It took me a minute to notice me a very shy smile.
I dropped Chas's wrist. I almost dropped my machete.
Nora looked away and moved a few steps in front of us, leaping into the grass to flatten it for herself as she went.
"I win," Chas whispered.
"Smoke all you want," I whispered back.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“It's not like I enjoy introducing myself as a creature from beyond the grave.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“Besides that, she's a fine young lady."
"I'll be sure to remind her of that next time she starts yelling at us.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“If you’re going to need me, even if it’s just to yell at, I’m going to stay right here.”
“No, I want to take a shower. I’m not about to if you stay out there.”
“Excuse me, but-huh? Then there will be two doors between you and me.”
Some of the blood stayed in my cheeks as I found myself spluttering, “But you’ll know I’m taking a shower!”
You just told me you were going to!
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“Far more powerful than religion, far more powerful than money, or even land or violence, are symbols. Symbols are stories. Symbols are pictures, or items, or ideas that represent something else. Human beings attach such meaning and importance to symbols that they can inspire hope, stand in for gods, or convince someone that he or she is dying. These symbols are everywhere around you.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“You're a zombie. If you're not missing body parts, you're doing it wrong!”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Beloved
“I got a demerit, professor." There was a kind of naughty amusement in her eyes that I found myself really liking.
I smiled slowly. "Why did you do, Miss Dearly?"
"She henpecked Elpinoy in a most spectacular fashion," Renfield offered. "I think at one point she was actually hanging on his back." Nora made a sound of annoyance. "Alas, I was looking at a computer screen with Dr. Samedi at the time, and thus I'm afraid that neither of us can vouch for this with certainty."
The laughter bubbled out of me before I could hold it back. "Were you?" I asked her.
"Define 'hanging.'"
"Bra,." Elpinoy appeared in one of the lab doorways. He gestured to the exterior doors. "Take her out. Now. Never in my life have I encountered such a little-"
"Lady?" I asked, trying to keep a straight face.
"Out."
"'Phone call,'" Nora said, affecting his tone of voice and looking right at him. "'Let-ter.'"
"Not until Wolfe orders it!" Elpinoy marched into his lab again and slammed the door behind him.
Nora stood up, her skirt bouncing a bit atop its puffy petticoat. "That man is an infuriating ponce."
"And you're an excellent judge of character.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed
“Seriously, why do you read that crap?" asked the girl.
Book Boy snapped his volume shut and removed his glasses from his nose. "I speak the truth! In all of these books the girls are throwing themselves at the romantic heroes- romantic heroes who are dead, ho drink human blood. Be of good cheer, my brothers, for I tell you there is hope!"
One of the other guys, a large black chap, rolled his lone eye. "Okay, you're cut off. Someone get him a cookbook or something."
"Or, you know, some fair damsel to seduce," the girl said, looking up from her reflection.”
Lia Habel, Dearly, Departed

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