Ernest Cline > Quotes

“People who live in glass houses should shut the fuck up.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“You'd be amazed how much research you can get done when you have no life whatsoever.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“You’re evil, you know that?” I said.
She grinned and shook her head. “Chaotic Neutral, sugar.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Going outside is highly overrated.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I felt like a kid standing in the world's greatest video arcade without any quarters, unable to do anything but walk around and watch the other kids play.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Being human totally sucks most of the time. Videogames are the only thing that make life bearable.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“One person can keep a secret, but not two.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Whenever I saw the sun, I reminded myself that I was looking at a star. One of over a hundred billion in our galaxy. A galaxy that was just one of billions of other galaxies in the observable universe. This helped me keep things in perspective.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Dilettantes,’ Art3mis said. ‘It’s their own fault for not knowing all the Schoolhouse Rock! lyrics by heart.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Very well!” he said. “You shall prove your worth by facing me in a joust!” I’d never heard of an undead lich king challenging someone to a joust. Especially not in a subterranean burial chamber.
“All right,” I said uncertainly. “But won’t we be needing horses for that?”
“Not horses,” he replied, stepping away from his throne. “Birds.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“You were born at a pretty crappy time in history. And it looks like things are only gonna get worse from here on out.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Continue your quest by taking the test

Yes, but what test? What test was I supposed to take? The Kobayashi Maru? The Pepsi Challenge? Could the clue have been any more vague?”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I never ran out of ammo, because each time I fired a round, a new round was teleported into the bottom of the clip. My bullet bill this month was going to be huge.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn't know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life, right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Virtual sex, no matter how realistic, was really nothing but glorified, computer-assisted masturbation.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I’d designed my avatar’s face and body to look, more or less, like my own. My avatar had a slightly smaller nose than me, and he was taller. And thinner. And more muscular. And he didn’t have any teenage acne. But aside from these minor details, we looked more or less identical.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Lights," I said softly. This had become my favorite word over the past
week. In my mind, it had become synonymous with freedom.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“No one in the world gets what they want and that is beautiful”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“It's chick flick disguised as a sword-and-sorcery picture. The only genre film with less balls is probably... freakin' Legend. Anyone who actually enjoys Ladyhawke is a bona fide USDA-choice pussy!”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“You're probably wondering what's going to happen to you. That's easy. The same thing is going to happen to you that has happened to every other human being who has ever lived. You're going to die. We all die. That's just how it is.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“You know you've totally screwed up your life when your whole world turns to shit and the only person you have to talk to is your system agent software!”
― Ernest Cline

“We lived in the Portland Avenue Stacks, a sprawling hive of discolored tin shoeboxes rusting on the shores of I-40, just west of Oklahoma City’s decaying skyscraper core.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Overall, she seemed to be going for a sort of mid-’80s postapocalyptic cyberpunk girl-next-door look. And it was working for me, in a big way. In a word: hot.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“...now that everyone could vote from home, via the OASIS, the only people who could get elected were movie stars, reality TV personalities, or radical televangelists.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“For one quarter, Black Tiger lets me escape from my rotten existence for three glorious hours. Pretty good deal.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“It is on!" Aech shouted into his comlink. "it is on like Red Dawn!”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“In the far reaches of the world, under a lost and lonely hill, lies the TOMB OF HORRORS. This labyrinthine crypt is filled with terrible traps, strange and ferocious monsters, rich and magical treasures, and somewhere within rests the evil DemiLich.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I was obsessed. I wouldn't quit. My grades suffered. I didn't care.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Parzival 110,000 highscore”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“I have a thing for evil bald bad guys. The Kurgan is too sexy.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One