quotes by Matt Groening

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. "
— Matt Groening

"Marge, it takes two to lie- one to lie, and one to listen. (Homer Simpson)"
— Matt Groening

"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."
— Matt Groening (Life in Hell 1993-1994 Fun Cal)

"Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said "sex is good". All available evidence, however, points to the contrary."
— Matt Groening (Childhood Is Hell)

"I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me."
— Matt Groening

"Weclome to Suckersville, man."
— Matt Groening (Bart Simpson's Guide to Life)

"whoops."
— Matt Groening

""Don't let yr meatloaf!""
— Matt Groening

"Eat my Shorts!
Welcome to Suckersville!
"
— Matt Groening (Bart Simpson's Guide to Life)