Tom Lehrer > Quotes

“I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.”
― Tom Lehrer

“I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:
Plagiarize!

Plagiarize!
Let no one else's work evade your eyes!
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes!
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -
Only be sure always to call it please 'research'.”
― Tom Lehrer

“I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!”
― Tom Lehrer

“Life is like a sewer - you get out of it what you put into it.”
― Tom Lehrer

“On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.”
― Tom Lehrer

“It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.”
― Tom Lehrer

“Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.”
― Tom Lehrer

“The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.”
― Tom Lehrer

“If after hearing my songs just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or perhaps to strike a loved one it will all have been worth the while.”
― Tom Lehrer

“Bad weather always looks worse through a window.”
― Tom Lehrer