"I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley,"
— Jeff Kinney (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

"Monkeys can't talk, stupid!"
— Jeff Kinney (Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules)

"If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all."
— Jeff Kinney (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

"First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it."
— Jeff Kinney

"Zoo-Wee Mama!"
— Jeff Kinney

"Loded Diaper"
— Jeff Kinney

"that if you don't read nobody does"
— Jeff Kinney (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

"i think you should read Dairy of a wimpy kid."
— Jeff Kinney

"I think Diary of a Wimpy kidis sooooo good!!!!!!!"
— Jeff Kinney (Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw)

"hot pink looks cute on only janet which is MEEEEEEE!!!"
— Jeff Kinney (Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days)