quotes by Nick Flynn

"There are many ways to drown, only the most obvious wave their arms as they're going under."
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)

"Who doesn't want to just disappear, at some point in the day, in a year, to just step off the map and float?"
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)

"Some part of me knew he would show up, that if I stood in one place long enough he would find me, like you're taught to do when you're lost. But they never taught us what to do if both of you are lost, and you both end up in the same place, waiting."
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)

"Perhaps everyone has a story that could break your heart..."
— Nick Flynn

"Perhaps it is our fear, that in the silence between stories, in the moment of falling, the fear that we will never find the one story which will save us, and so we lunge for another, and we feel safe again, if only for as long as we are telling it."
— Nick Flynn

"Alcohol is the river we sit on the banks of, contemplating. Sometimes we watch ourselves float past, sometimes we watch ourselves sink."
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)

"The boat has become supreme isolation, chosen isolation, holding myself apart from the world, which I only dimly understand anyway. I can sit on the aft deck and never be surprised by anything again- no phone will ever ring, no one will knock that I haven't seen coming for a quarter mile. that I can go to sleep any night and wake up having broken loose- a failed knot, a line frayed, the anchor dragged- that I can drift out of sight of land makes a twisted sense, in line with my internal weather. When everything has proven tenuous one can either move toward permanence or toward impermanence. The boat's sublimely impermanent. Some mornings the fog's so thick that I exist only in a tight globe of clearing, beyond which is all foghorn and unknown."
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)

"By the time I make my way to the border of Mauritania, to the edge of the Sahara, I see no end to being lost. You can spend your entire life simply falling in that direction. It isn't a station you reach but just the general state of going down. Once you make it back, if you make it back, you will stand before your long-lost friends but in some essential way they will no longer know you."
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)

"In my experience, whatever happens clings to us like barnacles on the hull of a ship, slowing us slightly, both uglifying and giving us texture. You can scrape all you want, you can, if you have money, hire someone else to scrape, but the barnacles will come back or at least leave a blemish on the steel."
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)

"Sometimes I'd see my father, walking past my building on his way to another nowhere. I could have given him a key, offered a piece of my floor. A futon. A bed. But I never did. If I let him inside I would become him, the line between us would blur, my own slow-motion car wreck would speed up. The slogan on the side of a moving company truck read TOGETHER WE ARE GOING PLACES- modified by a vandal or a disgruntled employee to read TOGETHER WE ARE GOING DOWN. If I went to the drowning man the drowning man would pull me under. I couldn't be his life raft."
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)

"I offer Emily half of my hit of acid- Love Saves the Day. It's my second or third time tripping, Emily's first, and she's understandably trepid. Awake all night, at one point I find her touching her reflection in a cruelly lit dorm bathroom, asking if she'll ever be the same. I kiss her then for the first time and whisper, No."
— Nick Flynn (Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir)