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Mindy Kaling quotes (showing 1-30 of 421)

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face—who will love them now?”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“I'm the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies.”
Mindy Kaling
“In my mind, the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you’re wanted.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“I’m only marginally qualified to be giving advice at all. My body mass index is certainly not ideal, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars because I never have cash on me, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie Sale section. I’m kind of a mess.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“Later, when you're grown up, you realize you never really get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that's it.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“We never needed best friend gear because I guess with real friends you don't have to make it official. It just is.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“I don't want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“I think when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anywhere. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“It makes me cry because it means that fewer and fewer people are believing it's cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“If I’m at a party where I’m not enjoying myself, I will put some cookies in my jacket pocket and leave without saying good-bye.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It’s mostly pink. If you’re reading this book every night for months, something is not right.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“Everyone has a moment when they discover they love Amy Poehler.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn't always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine.”
Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
“People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you're succeeding. People do not get scared when you're failing. It calms them. But when you're winning, it makes them feel like they're losing or, worse yet, that maybe they should've tried to do something too, but now it's too late. And since they didn't, they want to stop you. You can't let them.”
Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
“Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“All women love Colin Firth: Mr. Darcy, Mark Darcy, George VI—at this point he could play the Craigslist Killer and people would be like, 'Oh my God, the Craigslist Killer has the most boyish smile!”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“If someone called me chubby, it would no longer be something that kept me up late at night. Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me. Do I envy Jennifer Hudson for being able to lose all that weight and look smokin’ hot? Of course, yes. Do I sometimes look at Gisele Bundchen and wonder how awesome life would be if I never had to wear Spanx? Duh, of course. That’s kind of the point of Gisele Bundchen. And maybe I will, once or twice, for a very short period of time. But on the list of things I want to do in my lifetime, that’s not near the top. I mean, it’s not near the bottom either. I’d say it’s right above “Learn to drive a vespa,” but several notches below “film a chase scene for a movie.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
tags: humor
“I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quite, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
“The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I'm reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT!”
Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
tags: humor
“People's reaction to me is sometimes "Uch, I just don't like her. I hate how she thinks she is so great." But it's not that I think I'm so great. I just don't hate myself. I do idiotic things all the time and I say crazy stuff I regret, but I don't let everything traumatize me. And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that's why you need to be a little bit brave.”
Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?

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