quotes by Fred Allen

"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me."
— Fred Allen

"I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars."
— Fred Allen

"California is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange."
— Fred Allen

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
— Fred Allen

"California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange."
— Fred Allen

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "
— Fred Allen

"A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
— Fred Allen

"The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. "
— Fred Allen

"An actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match."
— Fred Allen

"A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
— Fred Allen

"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. "
— Fred Allen

"" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"
— Fred Allen

"California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
"
— Fred Allen

"California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange."
— Fred Allen

"a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done"
— Fred Allen

"A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it."
— Fred Allen

""You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.""
— Fred Allen

"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart"
— Fred Allen

"A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on."
— Fred Allen

"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart."
— Fred Allen