quotes by Diablo Cody

"He is the cheese to my macaroni."
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Gas Attendant: "Thata ain't no etch-a-sketch. Thats one doodle that can't be un-did home skillet.""
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"In my opinon, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Shoulda gone to China. They give away babies like free iPods. They put them in guns and shoot them out at sporting events. "
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Juno: WOOOAH! ....Dreeeaaam BIG!"
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"When you're in a competitive environment, always give out the impression that you don't care. It makes people want you more. If you act desperate, it's over. I think a passive attitude is helpful. It comes naturally because I'm lazy."
— Diablo Cody

"Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into? "
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Juno MacGuff: Wise move. I know this girl who had a huge crazy freakout because she took too many behavioral meds at once. She took off all her clothes and jumped into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and she was like, "Blaaaaah! I'm a kraken from the sea!"
Su-Chin: That was you.
"
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Juno MacGuff: I don't know what kind of girl I am. "
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Juno MacGuff: I was out handling things way beyond my maturity level."
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Juno MacGuff: You can never have too many of your favorite one calorie breath mints."
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Bren MacGuff: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream... "
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Jeez banana! Shut your freaking gob!"
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Juno MacGuff: "Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.""
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Above the stage was a glass-floored second stage, which allowed customers to look up and watch another girl dancing overhead. This multidimensional display of poontang reminded me of the 3-D chessboard on Star Trek, which in turn reminded me that I was a huge nerd."
— Diablo Cody (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper)

"Nobody comes to Minnesota to take their clothes off, at least as far as I know."
— Diablo Cody (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper)

"Vodka Redbull: Upper meets downer in an effervescent hybrid of bubble gum and junkie piss"
— Diablo Cody (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper)

"In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Dad?
Mac MacGuff: What?
Juno MacGuff: Either I just peed my pants or um...
Mac MacGuff: *Or*...?
Juno MacGuff: THUNDERCATS ARE GO!"
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"Love is mysterious and rad, like Steve Perry from Journey"
— Diablo Cody (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper)

"Juno: Honest to blog?"
— Diablo Cody (Juno: The Shooting Script)

"He wasn’t a carrier of commitment-phobia or other notable boy diseases and he used expensive moisturizer. That’s about all it takes to bang my gong."
— Diablo Cody (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper)

"The Ten Worst Songs to Strip To: 1. That Midnight Oil song about aborigines"
— Diablo Cody (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper)

"For me, stripping was an unusual kind of escape. I had nothing to escape but privilege, but I claimed asylum anyway. At twenty-four, it was my last chance to reject something and become nothing. I wanted to terrify myself. Mission accomplished."
— Diablo Cody (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper)

"Of course, the strippers also take pains not to appear too innocent, valorous, or bookishly inclined. (In direct opposition to the Swayze Mandate of 1987, everybody puts Baby in a goddamn corner.)"
— Diablo Cody (Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper)

"The name fuse followed me from the book to the screenplay, and now I have to live with the name, which I chose in 30 seconds with no thought about how it might sound or what it might imply. It was just a funny thing."
— Diablo Cody

"The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.
Good mood, bad mood
Ugly, pretty
Handsome, what-have-you.
The right person's still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
— Diablo Cody