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Terry Pratchett quotes (showing 151-180 of 4,725)

“Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know them.”
Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
“Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.”
Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic
“Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enough words together they can bend space and time.”
Terry Pratchett
“You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.”
Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Bomb
“Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.”
Terry Pratchett, The Truth
“People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around.”
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
“...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.”
Terry Pratchett, The Bromeliad Trilogy
“Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.”
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”
Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
“It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere.”
Terry Pratchett, Making Money
“The stories never said why she was wicked. It was enough to be an old woman, enough to be all alone, enough to look strange because you have no teeth. It was enough to be called a witch. If it came to that, the book never gave you the evidence of anything. It talked about "a handsome prince"... was he really, or was it just because he was a prince that people called handsome? As for "a girl who was as beautiful as the day was long"... well, which day? In midwinter it hardly ever got light! The stories don't want you to think, they just wanted you to believe what you were told...”
Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
“Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.”
Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
tags: life
“Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
“What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
“Yes! I'm me! I am careful and logical and I look up things I don't understand! When I hear people use the wrong words, I get edgy! I am good with cheese. I read books fast! I think! And I always have a piece of string! That's the kind of person I am!”
Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
“Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.”
Terry Pratchett, Mort
“Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground.”
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
“My name is immaterial,' she said.
That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.”
Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic
“Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it, and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow. Anyway, being brought up as a Satanist tended to take the edge off it. It was something you did on Saturday nights.

And the rest of the time you simply got on with life as best you could, just like everyone else.”
Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
“Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.”
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
“I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire," said Miss Tick. "There may be no survivors.”
Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
“Crowley had always known that he would be around when the world ended, because he was immortal and wouldn’t have any alternative. But he hoped it was a long way off. Because he rather liked people. It was major failing in a demon. Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves. They seemed to have a talent for it. It was built into the design, somehow. They were born into a world that was against them in a thousand little ways, and then devoted most of their energies to making it worse. Over the years Crowley had found it increasingly difficult to find anything demonic to do which showed up against the natural background of generalized nastiness. There had been times, over the past millennium, when he’d felt like sending a message back Below saying, Look we may as well give up right now, we might as well shut down Dis and Pandemonium and everywhere and move up here, there’s nothing we can do to them that they don’t do to themselves and they do things we’ve never even thought of, often involving electrodes. They’ve got what we lack. They’ve got imagination. And electricity, of course. One of them had written it, hadn’t he…”Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.” Crowley got a commendation for the Spanish Inquisition. He had been in Spain then, mainly hanging around cantinas in the nicer parts, and hadn’t even known about it until the commendation arrived. He’d gone to have a look, and come back and got drunk for a week.”
Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
“The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.”
Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
tags: cool
“Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
“Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.”
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
“No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.”
Terry Pratchett, Nation
“People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as "Is this the laundry?" "How do you spell surreptitious?" and, on a regular basis, "Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
“Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.”
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
“Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.”
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

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Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch Good Omens
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The Color of Magic (Discworld, #1; Rincewind #1) The Color of Magic
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Mort (Discworld, #4; Death, #1) Mort
126,745 ratings
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Guards! Guards! (Discworld, #8; City Watch #1) Guards! Guards!
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