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Terry Pratchett quotes (showing 121-150 of 3,316)

“She was also, by the standards of other people, lost. She would not see it like that. She knew where she was, it was just that everywhere else didn't.”
Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites
“Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.”
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
“She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do.
And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find
herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.”
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
“Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk.”
Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay
“Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue.”
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic
“Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care.”
Terry Pratchett
“It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.”
Terry Pratchett, Jingo
tags: war
“The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.”
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic
“Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
“Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.”
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
tags: cats
“People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.”
Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
“I'm not the world's greatest expert, but I would have thought that the wizards, witches, trolls, unicorns, ... broomsticks and spells would have given her a clue?' - when J.K. Rowling insisted she wasn't writing fantasy.”
Terry Pratchett
"It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've's just that life is a habit that's hard to break...”
Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
“Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.”
Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures
“She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain that the forest, on this damp and windy night, contained strange and terrible things and she was it.”
Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
“I commend my soul to any god that can find it.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
“They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be.”
Terry Pratchett, Nation
“A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.”
Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant
“Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.”
Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.”
Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
tags: life
“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”
Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
“The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”
Terry Pratchett
“Once we were blobs in the sea, and then fishes, and then lizards and rats and then monkeys, and hundreds of things in between. This hand was once a fin, this hand once had claws! In my human mouth I have the pointy teeth of a wolf and the chisel teeth of a rabbit and the grinding teeth of a cow! Our blood is as salty as the sea we used to live in! When we're frightened, the hair on our skin stands up, just like it did when we had fur. We are history! Everything we've ever been on the way to becoming us, we still are. [...]

I'm made up of the memories of my parents and my grandparents, all my ancestors. They're in the way I look, in the colour of my hair. And I'm made up of everyone I've ever met who's changed the way I think.”
Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky (Discworld, #32)
“Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean.”
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
“Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to.”
Terry Pratchett, Snuff
“Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know them.”
Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky (Discworld, #32)
“It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere.”
Terry Pratchett, Making Money
“...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.”
Terry Pratchett, The Bromeliad Trilogy

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