"Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives."
— Derek Landy

"'So that plan worked out well.'

'Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens."'

'All the same,' he said, 'I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"Vengeous scowled. 'As you can see,' he said, 'you are vastly outnumbered.'

'I usually am.'

'Your situation has become quite untenable.'

'It usually does.'

'You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.'

Skulduggery paused. 'Okay, that's a new one on me.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"'We didn't die,' she said.

'Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.'

'I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin."
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"'If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't Oh, and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"'Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'

'And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"'That's beautiful,' Valkyrie said, looking at it.

'Isn't it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"He looked at her. 'In order to finish, I'll have to have defeated six Infected, Dusk, and Vengeous himself.'

'Yeah. So?'

'The Infected I can manage.'

She frowned. 'And Vengeous? I mean, you can beat him, right?'

'Well,' he said, "I can certainly try. And trying is half the battle.'

'What's the other half?'

He shrugged. 'Hitting him more times than he hits me.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"'Enjoy that?' Tanith said with a little grin.

Valkryie grinned back, her eyes bright. 'I keep telling Skulduggery he should get a bike.'

'What does he say?'

'He says people who wear leathers, like you, should ride motorbikes. People who wear exquisite suits, like him, should drive Bentleys.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That’s what they’d said countless times in the past. Of course, they’d been referring to school subjects and college applications and job prospects. Presumably, at no stage did they factor living skeletons and magic underworlds into their considerations. If they had, their advice would probably have been very different."
— Derek Landy (Skulduggery Pleasant)

"There’s no such thing as winning or losing. There is won and there is lost, there is victory and defeat. There are absolutes. Everything in between is still left to fight for. Serpine will have won only when there is no one left to stand against him. Until then, there is only the struggle, because tides do what tides do–they turn."
— Derek Landy (Skulduggery Pleasant)

"'We didn't die,' she said.

'Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.'

'I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin."
— Derek Landy

"'Very' is such a strong word..."
— Derek Landy