The Onion > Quotes

The Onion quotes (showing 1-4 of 4)

“I'm getting pretty good at masturbating”
― The Onion

“You will be betrayed this week, time and time again, by your own ch'i.”
― The Onion

“Behold the Power and the Glory of the Scientific Method!”
― The Onion

“Sportswriters are all geniuses.”
― The Onion

Our Dumb World
1,978 ratings
buy a copy

Embedded in America
164 ratings
buy a copy

Fanfare for the Area Man
131 ratings
buy a copy

Homeland Insecurity
104 ratings
buy a copy

More…