quotes by Mel Brooks

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
— Mel Brooks

"I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit."
— Mel Brooks

"The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly."
— Mel Brooks

"Look, I really don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive, you've got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy, colorful and lively."
— Mel Brooks

"I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know."
— Mel Brooks

"Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed."
— Mel Brooks

""Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.""
— Mel Brooks

"The definitions of comedy and tragedy!: Tragedy is when a man is lying on his death-bed; he has a terminal disease and his wife and children are gathered all around him, crying, clinging to some last sense of hope. It’s only a matter of time, now, the doctors say. There’s no hope. It’s just an awful, heart-wrenching, and gut-wrenching scene... That’s the definition of tragedy. Comedy is when a man falls into a hole and dies."
— Mel Brooks

"If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. "
— Mel Brooks

"Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
"
— Mel Brooks

"Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive."
— Mel Brooks

""Tragedy is a papercut; comedy is when you fall down an open manhole... and die!""
— Mel Brooks

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
"
— Mel Brooks

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
"
— Mel Brooks

"“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bull$#!*.”"
— Mel Brooks

"“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.”"
— Mel Brooks

"They make us live in the crap, and now they're taking the crap away? No! "
— Mel Brooks

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
— Mel Brooks

"I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know."
— Mel Brooks