"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Inigo: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.

Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die. "
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhyming now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Inigo: I donna suppose you could speed things up?

Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.

Inigo: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.

Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Have fun storming the castle!"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Is this a kissing book?"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Life isn't fair, it's just fairer than death, that's all."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"(Buttercup kisses the senile King)
The King: What was that for?

Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.

The King: Won't that be nice. She kissed me!"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"'I love you,' Buttercup said. 'I know this must come as something of a surprise to you, since all I've ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more. I thought an hour ago that I loved you more than any woman has ever loved a man, but a half hour after that I knew that what I felt before was nothing compared to what I felt then. But ten minutes after that, I understood that my previous love was a puddle compared to the high seas before a storm. Your eyes are like that, did you know? Well they are. How many minutes ago was I? Twenty? Had I brought my feelings up to then? It doesn't matter.' Buttercup still could not look at him. The sun was rising behind her now; she could feel the heat on her back, and it gave her courage. 'I love you so much more now than twenty minutes ago that there cannot be comparison. I love you so much more now then when you opened your hovel door, there cannot be comparison. There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my ears adore you, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days? I will do that. Do you want me to crawl? I will crawl. I will be quiet for you or sing for you, or if you are hungry, let me bring you food, or if you have thirst and nothing will quench it but Arabian wine, I will go to Araby, even though it is across the world, and bring a bottle back for your lunch. Anything there is that I can do for you, I will do for you; anything there is that I cannot do, I will learn to do. I know I cannot compete with the Countess in skills or wisdom or appeal, and I saw the way she looked at you. And I saw the way you looked at her. But remember, please, that she is old and has other interests, while I am seventeen and for me there is only you. Dearest Westley--I've never called you that before, have I?--Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley,--darling Westley, adored Westley, sweet perfect Westley, whisper that I have a chance to win your love.' And with that, she dared the bravest thing she'd ever done; she looked right into his eyes."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Westley (as he is unsuccessfully fighting Fezzik): Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?

Fezzik: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Who says life is fair, where is that written?"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"The Queen's Pride was his ship, and he loved her. (That was the way his sentences always went: It is raining today and I love you. My cold is better and I love you. Say hello to Horse and I love you. Like that.)"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. "
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"As you wish."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"When I was your age, television was called books."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Fezzik: Inigo?

Inigo: What?

Fezzik: I hope we win."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"We are men of action. Lies do not become us."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha..."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! But after what you just said, I'm not sure I want to be that anymore!"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Dread Pirate Roberts: Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Give us the gate key."
"I have no gate key."
"Fezzik, rip his arms off."
"Oh, you mean this gate key!"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"He held up a book then. "I'm going to read it to you for relax."
"Does it have any sports in it?"
"Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True Love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest Ladies. Snakes. Spiders... Pain. Death. Brave men. Cowardly men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles."
"Sounds okay," I said and I kind of closed my eyes."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"You have a dizzying intellect."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Get used to disappointment."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Death cannot stop True Love, it only postpones it for a while."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cherish—every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman that cries ‘Dear God, what is that thing?’ will reverberate forever with your perfect ears."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C...(before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy.... Well, this one left them all behind."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?...Morons."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"You think this is a trap then?" the Count asked.
"I always think everything is a trap until proven otherwise," the Prince answered. "Which is why I'm still alive."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

""I’m going to tell you something once and then whether you die is strictly up to you," Westley said, lying pleasantly on the bed. "What I’m going to tell you is this: drop your sword, and if you do, then I will leave with this baggage here"—he glanced at Buttercup—"and you will be tied up but not fatally, and will be free to go about your business. And if you choose to fight, well, then, we will not both leave alive."

"You are only alive now because you said 'to the pain.' I want that phrase explained."

"My pleasure. To the pain means this: if we duel and you win, death for me. If we duel and I win, life for you. But life on my terms. The first thing you lose will be your feet. Below the ankle. You will have stumps available to use within six months. Then your hands, at the wrists. They heal somewhat quicker. Five months is a fair average. Next your nose. No smell of dawn for you. Followed by your tongue. Deeply cut away. Not even a stump left. And then your left eye—"

"And then my right eye, and then my ears, and shall we get on with it?" the Prince said.

"Wrong!" Westley’s voice rang across the room. "Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cherish—every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman that cries 'Dear God, what is that thing?' will reverberate forever with your perfect ears. That is what 'to the pain' means. It means that I leave you in anguish, in humiliation, in freakish misery until you can stand it no more; so there you have it, pig, there you know, you miserable vomitous mass, and I say this now, and live or die, it’s up to you: Drop your sword!"

The sword crashed to the floor."
— William Goldman

"Buttercup's mother whirled on him. 'Did you forget to pay your taxes?'(This was after taxes. But everything is after taxes. Taxes were here even before stew.)"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"“you were already more beautiful than anything I dared to dream. In our years apart, my imaginings did their best to improve on you perfection. At night, your face was forever behind my eyes. And now I see that that vision who kept me company in my loneliness was a hag compared to the beauty now before me.” –Westley

“Enough about my beauty.” Buttercup said. “Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I’ve got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.”"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"I've been saying it so long to you, you just wouldn't listen. Every time you said 'Farm Boy do this' you thought I was answering 'As you wish' but that's only because you were hearing wrong. 'I love you' was what it was, but you never heard."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"And that's when she put her book down. And looked at me. And said it: "Life isn't fair, Bill. we tell our children that it is, but it's a terrible thing to do. It's not only a lie, it's a cruel lie. Life is not fair, and it never has been, and it's never going to be."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"As you wish."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need. "
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Look. (Grown-ups skip this paragraph) I'm not about to tell you this book has a tragic ending. I already said in the very first line how it was my favorite in all the world. But there's a lot of bad stuff coming. "
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"My Westley will come for me."
— William Goldman

"Writing is finally about one thing: going into a room alone and doing it. Putting words on paper that have never been there in quite that way before. And although you are physically by yourself, the haunting Demon never leaves you, that Demon being the knowledge of your own terrible limitations, your hopeless inadequacy, the impossibility of ever getting it right. No matter how diamond-bright your ideas are dancing in your brain, on paper they are earthbound."
— William Goldman

"The Prince found Buttercup waiting unhappily outside his chamber doors.
'It's my letter,' she began. 'I cannot make it right.'
'Come in, come in,' the Prince said gently. 'Maybe we can help you.' She sat down in the same chair as before. 'All right, I'll close my eyes and listen; read to me.'
'Westley, my passion, my sweet, my only my own. Come back, come back. I shall kill myself otherwise. Yours in torment, Buttercup.' She looked at Humperdinck. 'Well? Do you think I'm throwing myself at him?'"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)