Jeff Lindsay > Quotes

“Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter in the Dark

“I'm not sure what I am. I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there always, this Dark Passenger. And when he's driving, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to something else... someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things... people... who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children?”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter in the Dark

“Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesn't seem like a big deal. I'm quite sure most people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake it all. I fake it very well, and the feelings are never there.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“I'm a very neat monster." ~Dexter Morgan”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work. ”
― Jeff Lindsay

“You're driving me NORMAL!”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“In my life long study of human beings, I have found that no matter how hard they try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workday lives of meaningless toin and suffering.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter in the Dark

“Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical,...”
― Jeff Lindsay

“What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“Feeling - what authentic human fun!”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter in the Dark

“I stood up. It was all too much. I could not even meet my own expectations, and to be asked to deal with all theirs too was suffocating.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter in the Dark

“A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“Rectory always sounded to me like a place you would find a proctologist.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter in the Dark

“Another beautiful Miami day. Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“And here I always thought morality was useless”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“Getting yelled at by a furious woman should be a semi-formal occasion. ”
― Jeff Lindsay

“Another dream. Another long-distance call on my phantom party line. No wonder i had steadfastly refused to have dreams for most of my life. So stupid; such pointless, obvious symbols. Totally uncontrollable anxiety soup, hateful, blatant nonsense.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“Detective, I don't know where the boyfriend is, really," I said. And it was true, considering tide, current, and the habits of marine scavengers. -Dexter”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter By Design

“Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“As I've said, freedom is really an illusion. Anytime we think we have a real choice, it just means we haven't seen the shotgun aimed at our navel.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter Is Delicious

“Have you noticed how difficult it is just to get along in the world? If you're no good at all in your job, people treat you badly and eventually you will be unemployed. And if you're a little better than competent, everyone expects miracles from you, every single time. Like most of life, it's a no-win situation. And if you dare to mention it, no matter how creatively you phrase your complaints, you are shunned as a whiner.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter Is Delicious

“I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter Is Delicious

“We can't always do what we think we have to do. So when there's nothing else you can do, you wait... No matter what... pressure... you might feel.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter Is Delicious

“I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“I was filled with dread at the thought my mind had skipped town and left me behind to pay the rent." --Dexter”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“The students we saw were all bright, attractive, and polite, and the teachers all seemed to be smart and dedicated, and I began to appreciate the benefits of a private school education. If only I'd had the opportunity to attend a place like this, who knows what I might have become? Perhaps instead of a mere blood-spatter analyst who slunk away at night to kill without conscience, I could have become a doctor, or a physicist, or even a senator who slunk away at night to kill without conscience. It was terribly sad to think of all my wasted potential.”
― Jeff Lindsay

“Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter By Design

“I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“Money to me had always been merely something the sheep used to show each other how wonderful they were.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter Is Delicious

“It's that moon again, slung so fat and low in the tropical night, calling out across a curdled sky and into the quivering ears of that dear old voice in the shadows, the Dark Passenger, nestled snug in the backseat of the Dodge K-car of Dexter's hypothetical soul.

That rascal moon, that loudmouthed leering Lucifer, calling down across the empty sky to the dark hearts of the night monsters below, calling them away to their joyful playgrounds.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“Of course, having information to use is one thing. Knowing what it means and how to use it is a different
story.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“you can’t use logic on human behavior.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

“I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it." --Dexter”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“It was always hard work to push through a crowed of reporters with the scent of blood in their nostrils. You might not think so, since on camera they appear to be brain-damaged wimps with severe eating disorders. But put them at a police barricade and a miraculous thing happens...The strength comes from some mysterious place-and somehow, when there is gore on the ground, these anorexic creatures can push their way through anything. Without mussing their hair, too.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Dexter Is Delicious

“And what did you do last night, Dexter? Oh, I played with my dolls while a friend chopped up my sister.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter

“Stop the nurse like the monkey.”
― Jeff Lindsay, Darkly Dreaming Dexter