"Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work. "
— Jeff Lindsay

"What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur."
— Jeff Lindsay (Dearly Devoted Dexter)

"I'm not sure what I am. I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there always, this Dark Passenger. And when he's driving, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to something else... someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things... people... who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical,..."
— Jeff Lindsay

""Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.""
— Jeff Lindsay (Dexter in the Dark)

"Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children?"
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Getting yelled at by a furious woman should be a semi-formal occasion. "
— Jeff Lindsay

""I'm a very neat monster." ~Dexter Morgan "
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesn't seem like a big deal. I'm quite sure most people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake it all. I fake it very well, and the feelings are never there."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Feeling - what authentic human fun!"
— Jeff Lindsay (Dexter in the Dark)

"I stood up. It was all too much. I could not even meet my own expectations, and to be asked to deal with all theirs too was suffocating."
— Jeff Lindsay (Dexter in the Dark)

"But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on."
— Jeff Lindsay (Dexter in the Dark)

"In my life long study of human beings, I have found that no matter how hard they try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workday lives of meaningless toin and suffering."
— Jeff Lindsay (Dexter in the Dark)

"Rectory always sounded to me like a place you would find a proctologist."
— Jeff Lindsay (Dexter in the Dark)

"After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Getting yelled at by a furious woman should be a semi-formal occasion."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw."
— Jeff Lindsay (Dearly Devoted Dexter)

"And here I always thought morality was useless"
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Stop the nurse like the monkey."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Another dream. Another long-distance call on my phantom party line. No wonder i had steadfastly refused to have dreams for most of my life. So stupid; such pointless, obvious symbols. Totally uncontrollable anxiety soup, hateful, blatant nonsense."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Another beautiful Miami day. Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"It was always hard work to push through a crowed of reporters with the scent of blood in their nostrils. You might not think so, since on camera they appear to be brain-damaged wimps with severe eating disorders. But put them at a police barricade and a miraculous thing happens...The strength comes from some mysterious place-and somehow, when there is gore on the ground, these anorexic creatures can push their way through anything. Without mussing their hair, too."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling."
— Jeff Lindsay (Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Cualquiera puede ser encantador si no le importa mentir y decir todas las cosas estúpidas, obvias y nauseabundas que la conciencia suele reprimir en la mayoría de la gente. Por suerte, yo no tengo conciencia. Y las digo. -Dexter"
— Jeff Lindsay (El Oscuro Pasajero / Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"¿Acaso no estábamos todos locos cuando dormíamos? ¿Qué era el sueño, al fin y al cabo, sino el proceso por el cual vaciábamos nuestra demencia al pozo oscuro del inconsciente quedando así listos para levantarse a la mañana siguiente y a desayunarnos con cereales en lugar de hacerlo con los niños del vecino? -Dexter"
— Jeff Lindsay (El Oscuro Pasajero / Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Pero, por triste que sea, la vida no siempre imita al arte. -Dexter"
— Jeff Lindsay (El Oscuro Pasajero / Darkly Dreaming Dexter)

"Detective, I don't know where the boyfriend is, really," I said. And it was true, considering tide, current, and the habits of marine scavengers. -Dexter"
— Jeff Lindsay (Dexter By Design)