7:18 p.m.
My eyes are all swollen up like mice eyes from crying. Even my nose is swollen. It's not small at the best of times, but now it looks like I've got three cheeks. Marvelous. Thank you, God.

9:00 p.m.
I'll never get over this.

9:10 p.m.
Time goes very slowly when you're suicidal.

What tragedy has her so distraught? Her parents have told her she's moving to New Zealand just when she's managed to snog (kiss--look it up in the glossary) the SG (Sex God, a.k.a Robbie). This is of course not the only source of drama in Georgia's eventful life. Her half Scottish wildcat, Angus, who is the size of a small Labrador, herds the poodles next door and terrorizes the neighborhood. Her little sister, Libby, who is slightly mad, stores her "pooey knickers" and her scuba-diving Barbie doll in Georgia's bed. Her mother (from whom she inherited her orangutan eyebrow gene and possibly her "gigantic basoomas") is clearly inhabiting Earth solely to make her life miserable, and even her best friend Jas is "half girl, half turnip."

Despite the fact that she's spared from going to "Kiwi-a-gogo land," things don't get much better for Georgia. She's suspended for a childish prank right before her dad returns from New Zealand, she falls in love with the SG who dumps her for being too young, and Dave, the "red-herring" boyfriend she's using to make the SG jealous calls her a "heartless whatsit." And, she continues, "the spot on my bum is probably a boil. I wonder what Buddha would do now?" Rennison's comedic timing is brilliant. Adolescent angst ("I hope I am not driven to the brink of madness by grief") vanishes less than an hour later ("Angus can fetch sticks!!!") and sometimes even sooner. (Warning: Do not read this book while riding a train or bus unless you don't care what people think of intermittent explosive laughter. Seriously.) (Ages 12 and older) --Karin Snelson

Then up rears temptation in the form of old flame Dave the Laugh. Is Georgia about to become a shameless vixen?

I am so depressed and bored I may even have to do some homework. My new address is:

Georgia Nicolson
Crap House
Crapton-on-Sea
Crapshire
Crapland

Just when the Sex God becomes Georgia's official boyfriend, he decides to go off and snog sheep in Kiwi-a-gogo land, taking her heart with him. Georgia decides to display extreme glaciosity to all boys -- after all, a girl can only have her heart broken so many times.

Until, ohmygiddygodstrousers, she meets Masimo, the new Italian-American lead singer for the Stiff Dylans band. The Dreamboat has landed -- again -- and Georgia is away laughing on a fast camel (whatever that means)!

Georgia, pining for her new wannabe heart throb and Italian-American stallion Masimo, who is currently visiting rellies in the States, is bolstered by the news that she and Mutti and Vati are off to Hamburger-a-gogo land as well. It'll be the perfect opportunity for Georgia to partake of a really long holiday snogathon with the (probable) man of her dreams. Slight problem number one is that Masimo is in New York, and the Nicholsons are headed to Memphis.

But all is not lost. Jas, Georgia's bestest mate from the Ace Gang, can go with them and she can help get the two lovebirds together. Slight problem number two is the re-emergence in her life, via letters from Kiwi-a-gogo land, of Robbie the love god. What with Dave the Horn never far away either, the future of Georgia's mixed-up love life is reaching a critical, decision-making stage.

There's no better series of books for teens around at the moment that capture more accurately the trials of life in the hormone-emerging fast lane. Rennison, a stand-up comedienne of some renown, injects each page with the sharpest, wittiest and achingly relevant material there is. It certainly doesn't get any better than this. And… it's another cliffhanger ending, so expect more marvy confessions soon.

(Age 12 and over) --John McLay

And also in the oven of luuurve.

And possibly on my way to the bakery of pain.

And maybe even going to stop along the way to get a little cake at the cakeshop of agony.

Shut up, brain, shut up.

Georgia is in quite a predicament. Dave the Laugh has declared his love for her (at least she thinks he was talking about her), leaving her in a state of confusiosity. And then when she finally decides to give Masimo an ultimatum -- to be her one and only -- he tells her he needs to think about it.

To distract herself from her romantic woes, Georgia throws herself into Mac-Useless play rehearsals and planning a Viking wedding, and tries to avoid all thoughts of boy decoys, Italian-American dreamboats . . . and let's not forget guitar-plucking Sex Gods!

And I am sitting in a bush.

Georgia thought her heartbreak-osity troubles were over when Masimo announced that he wanted to be her one and only. But just as she hits Swoon City, Robbie, the original Sex God, shows up. How in the world has Georgia accidentally acquired two Sex Gods?

Before Georgia can decide what to do next, she must figure out what Robbie's intentions are—and if his sudden re-appearance changes her mind about Masimo. And as much as she wants to turn to Dave the Laugh for help, he's another romantic thorn (and prospective snoggee) in her side. Will Georgia ever get off the rack of love once and for all?

A bit early to get swoony knickers but I have got them on.

For Georgia, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Just when she thought she was the official one-and-only girlfriend of Masimo, he's walked off into the night with the full hump, leaving Georgia all aloney on her owney—again. All because Dave the Laugh tried to do fisticuffs at dawn with him!

Two boys fighting over Georgia? It's almost as romantic as Romeo and Juliet . . . though perhaps a touch less tragic.

It's time for Georgia to get to the bottom (oo-er) of this Dave the Laugh spontaneous puckering business once and for all. It's like they always say: If you snog a mate in the forest of red bottomosity and no one is around to see it, is he still a mate? Or is he something more?

In this edition that combines the third and fourth volumes in the hilarious #1 New York Times best-selling series, Georgia may be about to become a shameless vixen! The hysterically funny third and fourth volumes of the best-selling Georgia Nicolson diaries: knocked out by my nunga-nungas and dancing in my nuddy-pants.