What would you do? Would you take the chance? Would others?
]]>Tonto, a cross-eyed, ADHD affected little Weenie Dog with only one testicle is suddenly called upon to save the world from an alien invasion!
Can he do the job? Well, perhaps, if a compulsively cursing alcoholic super-genius and his co-ed groupies combine forces with an cigar-chomping Italian from the pentagon and his air headed secretary. And of course they have to have help from Tonto's owners, who think politicians aren't much smarter than lizards.
Get ready for a wild and crazy ride with Tonto and his friends, the most amazing characters Darrell Bain has created in his eclectic writing career.
This is a science fiction novel so insane it only begins to make sense when it's discovered that the aliens had a part in Tonto's conception to begin with!
]]>These stories range from ravenous Bed & Breakfast guests who eat them out of house and home, the attack of the killer kittens, couch testing, wreath-making for dummies and many, many more, related in a style all Darrell's own. If you can get through this book without laughing until your ribs are sore, you are a rare exception and haven't got a funny bone in your body.
]]>- there's more than the scent of pine in the air when Darrell hires his nubile young niece to help the "boys" load cars in the parking lot...
- consider what happens when you introduce an enthusiastic Spanish-only speaking laborer to electric shears with instructions to just "take a little off the edges"...
- if you color-code the price stickers on the trees and your staff doesn't admit they're color-blind...
- and more than you ever thought you could possibly know about growing trees... After twenty years in the business, Darrell looks back on this unique, demanding, exasperating, frustrating but ultimately rewarding profession -- the reward comes from the customers, especially the kids, as families search out that perfect tree. His stories are are heart-warming anecdotes, well-sprinkled with irony and down-home humor. A great, side-splitting laugh of a book you will enjoy reading any time of the year--and you'll never look at a Christmas tree the same way again!
]]>